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Talk:Snake Eyes
What's this story about? I really like this a lot.Roseanne Rosannadanna. The Johnny Carson Show. " To the moon, Alice!" How, we miss the classics :(. 01:01, November 1, 2010 (UTC) It's about Alejandro figuring out he is not so perfect after all--THIS IS Intrudgero98! You Thought I Was Gonna Say SPARTA Did'nt You? 16:44, November 1, 2010 (UTC) The first chapter sounds like you're turning Alejandro into Darth Vader. Well, that would certainly fit. In any case, you're off to a good start here. This is the kind of writing I would have liked to see in your Gwen story. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 20:03, November 13, 2010 (UTC) Even when characters are shouting at the tops of their lungs, it is very rarely appropriate to use more than one exclamation point, and never appropriate to use more than two. You can bold, italicize, or use all caps if you want want still more emphasis. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 00:12, November 23, 2010 (UTC) In the "Snickers" chapter, Noah muses that Heather has "disappeared out of plain sight". I think the phrase you want is "dropped out of sight". Also, it's "buffoon", not "bafoon". On an unrelated note, you should give your chapters numbers as well as titles. That will help readers navigate. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 03:18, November 24, 2010 (UTC) Awesome! This is all so dramatic and deep. Everything a girl like me goes for. Keep it all up, dude! He ate my heart, he a-a-ate my heart. All the single ladies! (All the single ladies!) You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream! *Crystal continues mindlessly playing music and dances randomly in her room* 17:36, November 25, 2010 (UTC) I've noticed that people tend to describe TDWT's late-season Ezekiel as resembling a zombie, but he's actually modeled after Gollum from The Lord of the Rings. The TDWT finale made that very clear, although Gollum-Zeke did tend to behave more like an animal. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 18:22, November 26, 2010 (UTC) Gollum Being a Lord of the Rings fan myself I have noticed Ezekiel looks like Gollum but because of my short attention span I had forgotten completely about Gollum. My sincerest apologies.--Hey, I'm Sea, Commonly Reffered To As Intrudegro98 And I LURVE WIKIA!!! 18:25, November 26, 2010 (UTC) No apologies needed. As I noted before, you aren't the first to liken late-TDWT Zeke to a zombie. Anyway, I suspect that the only reason the writers didn't have Zeke call the $1M suitcase "my precious" is because, at that point, he didn't have the power of speech at all. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 23:49, November 26, 2010 (UTC) He probably will in Season 5--Hey, I'm Sea, Commonly Reffered To As Intrudegro98 And I LURVE WIKIA!!! 11:29, November 27, 2010 (UTC) There's a line in Chapter 5 where Heather takes care not to "fall on the unforgivable rocks below." I think the proper phrasing here is, "fall to the unforgiving rocks below." In any case, I like your story so far. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 19:22, November 27, 2010 (UTC) Thank you. I shall change it immediatly.--Hey, I'm Sea, Commonly Reffered To As Intrudegro98 And I LURVE WIKIA!!! 19:32, November 27, 2010 (UTC) The sequence of events with Ezekiel is confusing. His scene in chapter 5 suggests that he was mortally wounded, but in chapter 6 he appears none the worse. If he "got better" or something like that, I think you need a better explanation of what's going on. On the other hand, the chapter 6 scene seems out of sequence. It looks like it belongs between the two chapter 4 scenes. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 03:52, December 2, 2010 (UTC) Your note re: Ezekiel helps, Intrudge, but I suggest you try to find a way to work it into the narrative, as opposed to an Author's Note (e.g. by somehow stating or suggesting that he had gained unusual regenerative powers.) A Marvel Comics character called The Wendigo comes to mind. Part of his curse was that he could not be killed; a wound that would normally be fatal would cause only a brief unconsciousness. (Now that I think about it, Gollum-Zeke strikes me as more like The Wendigo than unlike.) Also, part of the reason I thought Zeke's chapter 6 scene seemed out of place was that the chapter 5 scene mentioned that he had killed "two tourists and a businessman". The chapter 6 scene depicts him killing what appear to be the same three people who were already dead in chapter 5. If the chapter 6 scene is a flashback, that needs to be made a little clearer. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! 05:58, December 3, 2010 (UTC)